There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride".

to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.

The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.

You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.