I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.

Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.

What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.

if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.

I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss - no matter what they tell you.

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

I said to my husband, 'my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs.' He said, 'Blue goes with everything.'