I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.

I hate reality shows that are not reality.

My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.

When you're first-generation money, you want to say, "I got a Mercedes and a Rolls and a Lamborghini. Take a look." When you're second-generation money, you're very quiet behind your country club doors. I think that's why people are much more aware. It's the first-generation wives that have the huge rings and the second-generation says, "Everyone be quiet as we get on our yacht or our private plane."

I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.