A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.