How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you're acting; listen only to yourself.

My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.

I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.