The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.

A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.

Marriage isn't a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients; We smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.