You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
Joan RiversMy mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
Joan RiversI'm at the top, top, top of my game now. I'm so happy to be on that stage, I'm in control of it, and I love every minute of it. I walk onstage in rehearsal and I start to smile. And so I just don't care what anyone else is doing. Do what you want, say what you want. Nobody else can do what I do onstage. Nobody.
Joan Rivers