Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.

Victoria Beckham is so nasty, why doesn't she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don't care what she does. She's mean to all the people around her. She's too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day.

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.

I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, "Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe."