I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.