I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.

All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.

A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.

And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.