It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don't care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.