Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

old age' is always ten years more than we are.

Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness.

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.