A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.

They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.

I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.

I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.

If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.

All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.