You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.

We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.