My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

I'm at the top, top, top of my game now. I'm so happy to be on that stage, I'm in control of it, and I love every minute of it. I walk onstage in rehearsal and I start to smile. And so I just don't care what anyone else is doing. Do what you want, say what you want. Nobody else can do what I do onstage. Nobody.

Does fashion matter? Always - though not quite as much after death.

Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.