A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

I started my career in a town so small the local clinic was called Fred's Hospital and Grill.

Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.

Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking to a supermodel.