I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.

Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.

A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: "Run your own race, put on your blinders."

After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.

I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.