to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness.

Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.

I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.