Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.

old age' is always ten years more than we are.

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "pick up, I know you're there."

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.