Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.

I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”