I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: "Last Girl Before Freeway."

She's so hairy - when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.

Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.

I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.