If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.

Every time I get on an airplane I figure it's gonna get blown up. You live on the edge.