Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.
Better laid than never.
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'