Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.