I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.