If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

Tonight I'll be interviewing Ken Watanabe, Keisha Castle Hughes, Benecio Del Toro and Djimon Honsou - and yes, those are actors, not caterers.