I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.

No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.

I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.

Edgar had a heart attack, and I'm to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.

The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.

I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.