Here's a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up - and gay men should stand up at least halfway.

I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

Boy George is all England needs. Another queen who can't dress.

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.