Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.