I'm at the top, top, top of my game now. I'm so happy to be on that stage, I'm in control of it, and I love every minute of it. I walk onstage in rehearsal and I start to smile. And so I just don't care what anyone else is doing. Do what you want, say what you want. Nobody else can do what I do onstage. Nobody.

[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.

Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.

And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.

Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.