All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.
Comedy - and I say this with humility - comedy needs me.
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Every time I get on an airplane I figure it's gonna get blown up. You live on the edge.
I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.