To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.

You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness.

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.

Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.

I was my own buddy in camp.