My personal style is over-the-top dowager. The old days they said get dressed and take one thing off, I say get dressed and put one thing on.

Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.

The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.

Marriage isn't a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients; We smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.

Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.