Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up - and gay men should stand up at least halfway.

In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.

How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.

Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.

Emotional troubles are like landfill. Get them outside, and the air disintegrates them.

You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.

Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.