Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.

You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

She's so hairy - when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.

The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.

If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.

Any form of complacency is the kiss of death for any professional.