I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!

My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.

The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' And as far as fashion is concerned, that's a good thing.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Happiness, at my age, is breathing

old age' is always ten years more than we are.

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.