Boy George is all England needs. Another queen who can't dress.

Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.

All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.

I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.

Omaha is a little like Newark, without Newark's glamour.

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

I'm at the top, top, top of my game now. I'm so happy to be on that stage, I'm in control of it, and I love every minute of it. I walk onstage in rehearsal and I start to smile. And so I just don't care what anyone else is doing. Do what you want, say what you want. Nobody else can do what I do onstage. Nobody.