There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: "Last Girl Before Freeway."
There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.