I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.
The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.
I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.