Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.

Victoria Beckham is so nasty, why doesn't she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don't care what she does. She's mean to all the people around her. She's too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.