I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.

Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.

If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.

I started my career in a town so small the local clinic was called Fred's Hospital and Grill.

You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.

Any form of complacency is the kiss of death for any professional.

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.