I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.

Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending.

I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.

I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, 'Let me help you with those buttons' and I told him, 'I'm completely naked'.

A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.

I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!

The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy award voter with a tampon in her purse.