That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan RiversI am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for โBest Special Effects.โ
Joan RiversI enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan RiversIf you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
Joan Rivers