You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.

my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.

I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss - no matter what they tell you.

That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.

I could stop and live carefully but that's ridiculous. I don't want to live carefully.

I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.