You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.

I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.

In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.

Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

With this face, I need all the deals I can get.