When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.

Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.

Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.

I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.

Tonight I'll be interviewing Ken Watanabe, Keisha Castle Hughes, Benecio Del Toro and Djimon Honsou - and yes, those are actors, not caterers.

I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.