Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me "sir."
I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.
[On plastic surgery:] My motto is: 'Anything that can be lifted should be lifted. Anything that falls should be caught. And try to catch any falling stuff before it hits the ground.