My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had the baby. He was there for the birth. It would've been nice if he was there for the conception.
She's so fat, she's my two best friends.
if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.