I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.

When you're first-generation money, you want to say, "I got a Mercedes and a Rolls and a Lamborghini. Take a look." When you're second-generation money, you're very quiet behind your country club doors. I think that's why people are much more aware. It's the first-generation wives that have the huge rings and the second-generation says, "Everyone be quiet as we get on our yacht or our private plane."

Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.

Comedy - and I say this with humility - comedy needs me.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.