Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Every television show you go on is a choice.
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.