They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, "Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe."

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.