They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.

My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.

What we do is a calling...we make people happy.

My perfect last meal would be: shrimp cocktail, lasagna, steak, creamed spinach, salad with bleu cheese dressing, onion rings, garlic bread, and a dessert of strawberry shortcake.

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.