In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.

If you're not a wreck in this business, you're not around.

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.

Obama came in and said he was going turn everything around, and you can't. Give the guy a break. But I question a lot of what's happening. It's certainly going to reflect in my vote, but who else is there? It's a horrible time, because people vote party lines instead of what's good for the country. I think the whole health care issue turned so ugly, because of party lines, and that's not what that's supposed to be about.

Tonight I'll be interviewing Ken Watanabe, Keisha Castle Hughes, Benecio Del Toro and Djimon Honsou - and yes, those are actors, not caterers.

Edgar had a heart attack, and I'm to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.