I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.