In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.

Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

I've learned: When you get older, who cares? I don't mince words, I don't hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me? It's been done. Threaten to commit suicide? Done. Take away my show? Done! Not invite to me to the Vanity Fair party? I've never been invited! If I ever saw the invitation, I'd use it as toilet paper.

All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.