After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.

I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked