Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!

Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.

My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.

You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.