Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all; grief is a spectator sport for them.

[On plastic surgery:] My motto is: 'Anything that can be lifted should be lifted. Anything that falls should be caught. And try to catch any falling stuff before it hits the ground.

I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.

That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.

She's so fat, she's my two best friends.

old age' is always ten years more than we are.