my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.

All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.

My body is a temple, and my temple needs redecorating.

God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.

Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up - and gay men should stand up at least halfway.