Remember a few years ago when they left Bea Arthur out of the death reel at the Oscars? Bea Arthur! How did they leave Bea Arthur out? She was in Mame; she was in All in the Family; she was in Maude; she was a Golden Girl, for God's sake! Bea was not only one of Hollywood's leading ladies, she was one of Hollywood's leading men!

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.

All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.

Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.

[On plastic surgery:] My motto is: 'Anything that can be lifted should be lifted. Anything that falls should be caught. And try to catch any falling stuff before it hits the ground.