All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Omaha is a little like Newark, without Newark's glamour.

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, "Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe."