[On plastic surgery:] My motto is: 'Anything that can be lifted should be lifted. Anything that falls should be caught. And try to catch any falling stuff before it hits the ground.

At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.